Archive for the ‘Baseball’ Category

“Your Glove”, a parody of The Outfield

Monday, September 7th, 2009
Jose’s on a stay-cation far away
Kenny shipped his ass to Denver
So many cursewords they made me say
2005 becoming hard to remember
I want ‘em to use their gloves tonight
I don’t wanna see Q’s glove tonight
I ain’t got many walls left to punch through
Landlord comes ’round, I’ll be in trouble
You know I’d give anything to see Q
Take a pitch and hit a line drive double
I just wanna see good gloves tonight
I don’t wanna lose this one tonight
Tried to stop my stomach from achin’
When I heard what happened to Bacon
It’s been a while since we were all alone
Atop the central division
As you leave us please switch to channel 4
so I can watch me some good football
Just cause you were all right doesn’t mean you won
The trip out east was just no damn fun
I just wanna be above the Tribe
I don’t wanna be team number 5

Jose’s on a stay-cation far away
Kenny shipped his ass to Denver
So many cursewords they made me say
2005 becoming hard to remember
I want ‘em to use their gloves tonight
I don’t wanna see Q’s glove tonight

I ain’t got many walls left to punch through
Landlord comes ’round, I’ll be in trouble
You know I’d give anything to see Q
Take a pitch and hit a line drive double
I just wanna see good gloves tonight
I don’t wanna lose this one tonight

Tried to stop my stomach from achin’
When I heard what happened to Bacon
It’s been a while since we were all alone
Atop the central division

As you leave us please switch to channel 4
so I can watch me some good football
Just cause you were all right doesn’t mean you won
The trip out east was just no damn fun
I just wanna be above the Tribe
I don’t wanna be team number 5

Jim Thome: the Gentleman Dodger

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009

With news this morning that the White Sox have traded Jim Thome to the Los Angeles Dodgers comes a bittersweet taste in the mouths of Sox fans everywhere.

I recall the November day, just a handful of days after the White Sox captured their first World Series championship in 88 years.  The news came through that centerfielder Aaron Rowand had been traded to the Philadelphia Phillies for slugger Jim Thome.  I was elated; incoming was a future Hall of Fame left-handed power hitter to add to an already-championship line-up and make the White Sox the odds-on favorites to win the 2006 World Series.

And they were.  For the first time possibly in the history of the publication, Sports Illustrated predicted the White Sox to win the 2006 World Series the following spring.

And what a year 2006 was.  The park was packed every night with fans still deliriously happy over the team’s triumph the year before, and the present team’s fortunes.  Thome, Jermaine Dye and Paul Konerko led an incredibly potent offense that hit more home runs than any other in baseball.  They established team records for both home runs and attendance that season, and though the pitching could not keep up, it was one hell of a year on the south side.

In Thome’s nearly four seasons with the club, he has had ups and downs, but has still put up respectable numbers and remained the most beloved person in the clubhouse until his departure.  Sox fans will never forget his 500th career home run – of the walk-off variety.  He also hit one of the most important homers in club history to win Game 163 in 2008 and send the Sox into the playoffs.

And I will never forget the 2006 World Series championship that his acquisition was supposed to insure.  It didn’t quite work out that way, but I will remember that year and his tenure with the Sox very fondly nevertheless.

As for the 2009 World Series, I’m a Dodgers fan.  The Gentleman Masher deserves one more crack at a ring, and I’m proud of Sox GM Kenny Williams for affording him that opportunity.

Changing the Rules: Major League Baseball

Friday, April 17th, 2009

This is an ongoing series in which I examine elements of the mechanics of professional sports that could use modernization or improvement

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For as poorly as the game of baseball has handled issues from Pete Rose to steroids to the lost World Series in 1994 to the ridiculous notion of the All-Star Game determining home field advantage in the Series, overall, the game has done a remarkable job of staying true to its history. Because so relatively few rules changes have impeded the game over the decades, statistical analysis between eras is much easier to accomplish in baseball than any other sport. And while some would decry the advent of the designated hitter, the wild card, the 162-game schedule, height restrictions on the pitching mound, outlawing the spitball, etc., most changes have had a negligible to positive impact on the game. But there are still a few more that would improve the game for me.

First – and I think we can all agree on this – strike zone variation between umpires is infuriating, and must be stopped. QuesTec’s Umpire Information System was supposed to cure this, but it hasn’t. What needs to happen now, since we have the technology available, is to utilize computers to determine if a pitch was within the strike zone or not, and whether or not a batter has swung at a pitch. A home plate umpire would still exist for the purposes of at-the-plate calls, and overruling the computers in an extraordinary situation where it is deemed necessary. But these guys are so bad at calling balls and strikes, and we have the technology to fix that problem, what’s the hold up?

Second, replay must be instituted on more than just fair-foul home run calls. With the emergence of a number of cutesy outfields in some of the newer ballparks with various quirks and kitsch, there is a greater need for video replay. Tag plays, trapped catches, and close plays at the plate all could use some video mojo as well.

Finally – and I’m bracing myself for a firestorm of venom here – it’s time that the National League adopts the designated hitter.

No, really, I mean it.

I have absolutely no idea what the appeal of the NL’s style of ball is, but I can tell you that watching pitchers attempt to hit and flail away like Special Olympians does not entertain me at all. For every Carlos Zambrano who can jack a handul of homers a year and actually appear competent at the plate, you have fifty Bartolo Colons who will pull a muscle doing something they shouldn’t be doing. Pitchers are paid a lot of money to hone their craft and eat innings for their teams. Batting shouldn’t be and isn’t a part of it.

What irritates me further about the NL style of play is that it can diminish the odds of a pitcher going deep into a game. NL starters average roughly a third of an inning less than AL starters (a disparity that would be even greater if the NL guys had to face a DH every nine hitters instead of a pitch-tard). I hate the idea of a pitcher who is absolutely tearing it up on the mound being forced to the bench so some scrub can come in and blow the game. I know a lot of NL fans call this phenomenon “strategy”, and call it the mark of a good manager to be able to make the right judgments in those situations. I call it BOREDOM to watch a pitcher try to hit. And, sorry, I’m not impressed by the double-switch. It’s not quite as perplexing a concept as some National League enthusiasts would suggest.

How the Cubs helped put the White Sox in 1st place

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

Over this past winter, there were numerous big-ticket transactions in Major League Baseball. Superstar players like Torii Hunter, Miguel Cabrera, Johan Santana, and Andruw Jones all changed addresses and cashed enormous paychecks during that period.

Never to be upstaged, Chicago Cubs general manager Jim Hendry and Chicago White Sox GM Ken Williams were both active as well. Both men had similar tasks to accomplish: shoring up unstable outfield situations.

The Cubs, coming off an impressive season that ended in a disappointingly abbreviated playoff run, had needs in center and right field. The Sox, following a miserable 2007 that featured migraine-inducing production from injury-plagued Scott Podsednik and Darin Erstad along with a black hole of minor leaguers filling in their left and center field positions, needed to make a big move.

The Sox failed to land highly touted free agent centerfielders Torii Hunter and Aaron Rowand, and they – brilliantly, as it turned out – avoided Jones like the plague. But Williams wasn’t concerned, because he – like Hendry – was in hot pursuit of a sure thing: Japanese superstar Kosuke Fukudome.

Fukudome was pursued by a handful of big-money teams including both Chicago clubs and, in the end, chose the Cubs for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, he reportedly wanted to play right field (the White Sox only had center available, with Jermaine Dye occupying right). He also had a desire to be the first Japanese player to play for whichever franchise he signed with. The Sox had already won a World Series with steady play from Tadahito Iguchi and minor contributions from Shingo Takatsu. Ironically – and thankfully, if you’re a Sox fan – Kosuke did not make the decision based on money; the Sox offered him more than the Cubs did, yet he passed.

Little did anyone (save for Ken Williams) know that Fukudome’s slight of the south siders in favor of Wrigleyville would lead Williams to two of the best acquisitions of his career.

With Rowand landing in San Francisco, Hunter in Anaheim and Fukudome nine miles north, Ken Williams went to Plan B. The biggest (perceived) move he made was acquiring Nick Swisher from Oakland. But his real coups were the signing of unknown Cuban prospect (now a Rookie of the Year candidate) Alexei Ramirez, and trading a Single-A player for current MLB home run leader (and MVP frontrunner) Carlos Quentin, neither of whom were a lock to make the big league roster, let alone start and eventually star on it.

These were not considered coups at the time, of course. Any team in baseball could’ve had Quentin or Ramirez for a rather low price. The difference is that while every MLB team thought Fukudome was a virtual lock to be a star, few considered Quentin viable, and even fewer knew who Ramirez was. They know now, however.

Quentin leads baseball in home runs, is in the top five in runs batted in, and is hitting nearly .300 while being on base almost 40 percent of the time. Not bad for a guy who seemingly went from first-round draft pick to injury-plagued bust with the Diamondbacks.

Ramirez, after spending most of the first month and a half of this season on the bench, took over as the starting second baseman in May and hasn’t come close to relinquishing the job. Aside from his eye-popping offensive output – a .309 average with 14 home runs and 55 RBI in only 350 at bats – Ramirez has played a spectacular defensive second base, making a number of highlight-reel plays displaying outstanding range, sure hands and a rocket of an arm. Not bad for a guy who never stepped foot on an American baseball diamond before spring training.

For his part, Fukudome’s Cubs career started off dramatically – with a 3-run homer to win on Opening Day. And with a .305 average in April and .293 in May, Kosuke’s star rose, and he was named to the All-Star team. However, he began to slide, with a .264 average in June, .236 in July, and an abysmal .164 in August, and has lost his everyday starting job.

Seems Williams owes Fukudome and Hendry a debt of gratitude. If things had worked out differently, Kenny may not have looked like the genius he currently does. And the White Sox wouldn’t be in first place, leading baseball in home runs by a wide margin.