NFL Top Ten: Week 11 Power Rankings

November 19th, 2009

1. Indianapolis Colts (2) – A dramatic victory over the Patriots leads them to a tough match-up in Baltimore, where they usually have problems.  I am not predicting a loss, but put it this way: if the Colts aren’t going to have a perfect season, I think this is the week it ends.

2. New Orleans Saints (1) – Sorry kids.  Just barely pulling out a win in St. Louis is less impressive than just barely pulling out a win against New England.

3. Minnesota Vikings (3) – The Seahawks visit the Horror Dome this week.  Prediction: Bret Favre Interceptionfest 2009 officially kicks off this week.

4. Cincinnati Bengals (6) – I was tempted to push them past the Vikes, but there are seven more weeks to do that.  The Bengals are clearly the best team in their division after sweeping Pittsburgh and Baltimore, but what happens come playoff time?

5. New England Patriots (5) – They played the best team in football and should’ve won.  No downward bump after a loss like that.  By the way, circle your calendar:  Monday, November 30th: Patriots at Saints.

6. San Diego Chargers (8) – It was rocky early for the Bolts, but the defense has turned it on and is putting quarterbacks on their asses.  Not only will the Chargers win their division over the fraudulent Broncos, but they will be a force in the playoffs, if things hold up.

7. Pittsburgh Steelers (4) – Just as I start to give them some love – and pick them HUGE to beat the Bengals – the Steelers prove that they’re not quite as good as I thought.

8. Arizona Cardinals (not ranked) – Emphatic exclamation point on their (inevitable) division title with a win in Seattle puts the Cards in the top 10 for the first time in a while.  Remember last January?  I think they’re starting to remember it too.

9. Dallas Cowboys (8) – I wanted to drop them off the list for losing to the Packers, who are quite bad.  But the rest of the league is stinky, so the Boys get a reprieve from my wrath.

10. Atlanta Falcons (9) – Twelve NFL teams have a record of 5-4 or 4-5.  The Falcons are one of them, because they laid down and died against Carolina, who – in case you missed it – is bad.

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Bears’ season ends in November?

November 13th, 2009

As is wildly apparent throughout Chicago Bears Nation in the aftermath of their 10-6 loss to the San Francisco 49ers, the time has come to pack in any and all hope for the 2009-10 season, and begin looking forward to determine what can be done to fix a deeply flawed team for next year and beyond.

There are four specific on-the-field areas of glaring weakness on this team, but none has proven to be more detrimental to the team’s success than the offensive line.  An argument could be made that with even league-average line play, the Bears’ offense would’ve made this a legitimate playoff team.  But league-average would’ve been an enormous improvement.  The left side of the line has to be remade in the off-season, no questions asked.  Orlando Pace and Frank Omiyale have been purely awful, allowing pass rushers to pillage and plunder quarterback Jay Cutler at will.  While Olin Kreutz, Roberto Garza and Chris Williams aren’t exactly studs, remaking an entire offensive line in one off-season is a monumental task.  The left side, for the second year in a row, is top priority.

While the offensive line is very much the top off-season priority, the other three primary areas of need seem to be at a similar level of importance to one another:  safety, wide receiver, defensive line.  The Bears have had a black hole at safety for years, thanks initially to never-ending injury problems for Mike Brown, and more recently due to a succession of failed draft picks at the position.  It’s difficult to determine whether or not anybody from the current crop of young safeties has any real future, but just because it’s difficult doesn’t mean the scouting department is off the hook for doing so.

They likewise do not get a pass for the ongoing ineptitude at wide receiver.  Devin Hester is a good number three NFL receiver, and Earl Bennett and Johnny Knox may well become decent twos or threes in their own right, but the Bears lack a legitimate one or two at the position, and they have since the departure of Bernard Berrian, who was a passable number two, but hardly worth the money he ultimately commanded.  It has been seven or eight seasons since the Bears last have had even a decent number one, dating back to Marty Booker’s prime, where he went to a Pro Bowl.  Unfortunately for the current crop of receivers, the quarterback who is charged with getting them the ball has no time whatsoever to get that task accomplished – thanks to the porous line play.

The defensive line is another ongoing problem that the Bears have had a bunch of bad luck with, to go along with bad drafts, and it all starts with Tommie Harris.  The line – and indeed the entire defense – was dominant when Tommie Harris was healthy and effective in 2005 and 2006 (until injury ended his year prematurely).  Since that time, only an occasional flash of the dominant Harris has appeared (including Thursday night against the 49ers, where Harris had far and away his best game of the year).  However, most of the last two-plus seasons, Harris has been somewhat invisible, rather than the disruptive beast he was early in his career.  While it remains to be seen whether Harris can ever regain that form, it has become increasingly apparent that he won’t be doing so with the Chicago Bears.  Attitude issues and questions about his effort have surfaced, to the extent that he was effectively suspended for the Cincinnati game, and was thrown out early in the Arizona game for throwing a punch.  I would be surprised if Harris is still a member of the Chicago Bears come next season.

While the defensive line has had to sink or swim with Harris, ends Adewale Ogunleye and Alex Brown have never produced eye-popping sack numbers, and as they age, are becoming less effective run stoppers as well.  The Bears are hoping that Gaines Adams – acquired for their 2nd round draft pick in 2010 – will have a big enough impact that any other changes are insignificant by comparison, this unit is plagued with some of the same problems that several other areas on the team have; lack of depth due to ineffective draft classes.  The list of failed defensive linemen the Bears have drafted over the last six years is staggering.  From Michael Haynes to Tank Johnson to Dan Bazuin and so on, the Bears have continuously shot themselves in the foot with their inability to draft effectively.

If you’ve noticed a common theme in the Bears’ problems, you aren’t alone.  College scouting has proven to be the Achilles heel of Jerry Angelo during his tenure as Bears’ General Manager.  The playmakers on the Super Bowl XLI team were primarily drafted by somebody else – whether it was the previous Bears regime, or Angelo’s acquisitions from other teams via trade and free agency.

Where Angelo and his staff have been quite good at scouting and acquiring professional talent via free agency (John Tait, Thomas Jones, Garza, Ruben Brown) and trade (Ogunleye, Cutler), his drafts have produced far less talent than is required in order to consistently win in the NFL.

Those fans calling for Angelo and Lovie Smith and the coaching staff to be dismissed will not be happy with the outcome of this coming off-season, as neither are likely to be dismissed with multiple years remaining on their respective contracts.  On the other hand, it’s quite possible – better than a 50-50 chance, I think – that Ron Turner will be made the scapegoat of the 2009 Bears, which will be quite unfair and unfortunate, considering that he was the offensive coordinator who oversaw the two most productive offensive seasons the Bears have had in the last 20 years (2006, 1995), and cannot be blamed for the poor drafting and bad acquisitions that led to him having the worst offensive line the team has had in ten years.  Nobody short of Bill Walsh himself could’ve had success with this line, yet ill-informed fans are calling for Turner’s head on a platter, and I suspect they’ll get it.  Turner does not deserve the same fate as Terry Shea, Gary Crowton, and John Shoop, but he’ll likely get it.  So goes life as an NFL coach.

As for this season, while Lovie Smith will continue to talk about improving and getting back into the playoff hunt and so on, I feel the top priority should be protecting the franchise’s most important asset:  Jay Cutler.  Keeping Cutler unscathed is critical for the long-term success of the franchise.  A healthy Cutler will be the key to the Bears’ success in three to six years, when they are next ready to compete for a championship.  Cutler is the lone shining light on this team, and is likely one of only a handful of players currently on the roster who will be on the next Bears team to reach the Super Bowl.

If Angelo has done nothing else in his tenure, he has stabilized the most important position on the field for years to come.  The horrendous offensive line he has built in front of Cutler can NOT be allowed to jeopardize the cornerstone of the franchise, as they have through the first nine games of 2009.

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NFL Top Ten: Week 10 Power Rankings

November 10th, 2009

1. New Orleans Saints (1) – Even though they have the most explosive offense in football, they’re playing with fire, letting teams jump on top early and having to rally in the second half.  That stuff is okay against the likes of the Dolphins and the Panthers, but after the cream-puff stretch of their schedule ends (at St. Louis, at Tampa Bay), the Patriots won’t be so generous.

2. Indianapolis Colts (2) – Peyton Manning is having one of the best seasons of his career.  Think about how good a season has to be to be one of HIS best.  Remarkable how the departure of Tony Dungy has done nothing to hurt this team.

3. Minnesota Vikings (3) – I haven’t checked the line on this week’s Lions at Vikings game, but I think it’s fair to say that this is a bit of a mismatch.  Matt Stafford will be wearing Jared Allen like a jacket.  This could be the ugliest game of the year.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers (4) – The championship mojo seems to be working again.  Big win in the Rockies on Monday night; a showdown with the Bungalows awaits.  More on that below.

5. New England Patriots (6) – This week’s game in Indianapolis may decide home field advantage in the AFC playoffs.  And, as always, it is certain to be a wildly entertaining affair; exactly the kind of game that makes the NFL great.

6. Cincinnati Bengals (7) – Thank God the Bengals are good this year.  If we had to go through yet another season of the endless Patriots-Colts-Steelers rotation atop the AFC, I was going to lose it.  This week’s rematch against the Steelers will tell us a LOT of what we need to know about how far the Bengals have or have not come.

7. Dallas Cowboys (8) – They walked into Philly and beat an Eagles team who had been crushing people of late.  I was not on board the Dallas bandwagon before that game, but I officially declare them contenders.  They now travel to Green Bay, to face the pre-season’s most overrated and over-hyped team (not by me, mind you… the Packers are EXACTLY what I thought they were.  Mediocre.). I anticipate Dallas’ hot streak continuing.

8. San Diego Chargers (not ranked) – I have no idea what the hell has happened to the Giants, but their prior three losses notwithstanding, I gave Norv Turner’s crew absolutely no chance of going into the Meadowlands and winning the Eli-Phillip Bowl.  I was wrong.  Things are finally coming back to reality in the AFC West, where the Chargers are proving that they are still the best team, despite Denver’s fluky start.

9. Atlanta Falcons (not ranked) – Hard to decide if a win against the Redskins was enough to bump them ahead of the Eagles.  But I guess I just did.

10. Philadelphia Eagles (5) – After all the good faith I showed in you last week, you take a spill at home?  Losing to Dallas is hardly cause for embarrassment, but it’s plenty good enough cause for a five notch drop.

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I’ll dream it up, you make the money

November 3rd, 2009

Ever have a great idea, and lack the necessary skills or wherewithal to make the idea a reality?  Well, I have… several times.  And each time it happens, I later discover that someone else has done it, to varying degrees of success.

DARK LORD WAL ‘D’ MART

A fan of the Harry Potter films (I am unwilling to invest the time in the books) from their premiere, it occurred to me that the name “Valdemort” sounded a lot like “Wal-Mart”.  I thought it would be amusing to write a character called the Dark Lord Wal ‘D’ Mart, combining the Potter character with some of the criticisms of the retail giant.

Lo and behold, a Wal-Mart watchdog group did it.  And, naturally, they did it a lot better and funnier than I would have.  There wasn’t any money to be made from this concept anyway, so I don’t feel that badly about missing the boat.

LASER TURNTABLE

As a kid who was always into technology, and always into audio, I was fascinated with how recording and playback devices worked.  I learned how the needle of a turntable worked, and how the sound was created by the physical friction of the needle against the impressions in the vinyl.  I found it ironic that the very method of playing back a record was exactly the activity that would eventually scar the disk and gradually degrade its quality.

When I learned about how a CD player worked – the laser reads millions of strands of tiny binary-like code, and from there, a computer chip decodes the data and distributes it as audio – I thought, why couldn’t a laser do the same thing with a vinyl record?  Why couldn’t it read those impressions in the grooves on the vinyl surface – without the damaging effect that contact with a needle has?  A computer could decode the physical properties of the disk, and records could last forever while still being used.

Contrary to what I originally thought, I’m obviously not the smartest man in the world… because somebody else had the same brilliant idea.

On one hand, I’m pleased that my idea worked.  On the other… DAMN IT!

PODCAST

This is the worst one, and the one that stings the most.  I mean, I had it… then I lost it!

Growing up, I loved radio.  I played radio host as a kid, doing a little show with whatever equipment I could muster in a makeshift studio in my bedroom.  I mimicked my favorite broadcasters, and I was in love with the format.  It was a love that never really went away, and eventually, it became an adult hobby.

In January 2001, I started doing a radio show in my dorm with some of my buddies.  I determined that I could spread the word about this show over the web – which, at that point, was still very much dominated by the dial-up connection.  But I needed a method of distribution of the show, and I did not have the resources to establish a stream or a full-blown website, and limited bandwidth made it unlikely that large audio files would be distributed very easily no matter what method I tried.  So what I did was make the shows available on Napster.  No, not the Napster you see now – corporate owned, iTunes-wannabe garbage.  This was the original, grass-roots, honest-to-God file-swapping Napster.  The Napster that made the record industry take a collective dump in their pants.  THAT Napster.

And as far as I knew – and as far as I still know – my show was the first show to do such a thing: produce for and distribute via peer-to-peer file-sharing.  In other words, I had one of the first podcasts.

Yes, I’ll say it:  I’m the father of the podcast.  Sue me.

I ended up doing it as a hobby for seven years.  By the time I stopped, everyone and their mother had a podcast, and a couple of them had figured out how to make money on them.  That, of course, is not something I was capable of figuring out.

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NFL Top Ten: Week 9 Power Rankings

November 3rd, 2009

1. New Orleans Saints (1) – This beast is just steamrolling now.  And have a look at their next three games: Carolina, at St. Louis, at Tampa Bay.  I see no way they aren’t 10-0 headed into an epic November 30th battle with New England in the Superdome.  That could be the game of the year.

2. Indianapolis Colts (2) – Okay, it wasn’t a great win against San Francisco, but it still counts.  They hit a bit of a rough road for the rest of November: Houston, New England, at Baltimore, at Houston.  I would target that Baltimore game as the end of the perfect season, but I’ve been wrong before, and I’ll be wrong again.

3. Minnesota Vikings (3) – There was no way Old Man River would march back into Lambeau and not go wild.  For the record, I was right about Brett Favre being washed up.  He has only thrown 16 touchdowns and has an embarrassing 3 interceptions.  Shoulda stayed retired, old man!  Shoulda known when to quit!

4. Pittsburgh Steelers (4) – I actually think this outfit is better than the Vikings, but those early-season fuck-arounds with the Bears and Bengals are holding them down here.

5. Philadelphia Eagles (not ranked) – Fine!  I’m SORRY for disrespecting you guys all year!  Did you HAVE TO go out and systematically destroy my Super Bowl pick just to prove it?  I guess you did, otherwise I’d probably keep overlooking you.  Then again, you did lose to the RAIDERS a few weeks ago, so let’s not get all superbowly just yet.

6. New England Patriots (6) – Bye week.  Big-time stretch of games for them, however. Miami, at Indy, Jets, at Saints, at Miami.  Win three of those, and I’m going to have to start thinking number 4 for B&B.

7. Cincinnati Bengals (7) – I love mid-season bye weeks.  Better than that week 4 crap.  They needed the rest, too, because Baltimore comes to town, and then they travel to Pittsurgh.  Could get ugly for the bungalows.

8. Dallas Cowboys (not ranked) – I haven’t shown the Boys much love this year, because they looked really bad in their losses, and fairly bad in some of their wins.  But apparently they’re trying to get it together, and it’s about the right time to do so.

9. Denver Broncos (5) – Not exactly concrete proof of a fraud, but at least we know this team is human.  And I assure you, they will continue to display their humanity quite a bit this year.

10. New York Giants (9) – Ughhh… what the hell?  One more bad loss, and I may banish you to the hell from whence you came!

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NFL Top Ten: Week 8 Power Rankings

October 27th, 2009

1. New Orleans Saints (1) – Okay, so they gave up some points in Miami.  It happens.  The fact that they expertly engineered a big comeback is just as important, since they hadn’t had to do it all season.

2. Indianapolis Colts (2) – Oh, the poor Rams.  What a mismatch.  And here come the Cardinals – into Lucas Oil Stadium – for their beating… we think…

3. Minnesota Vikings (3) – A loss!  They’re HUMAN!  Not a lot of teams march into Heinz Field and come away with a win against the home team.  The bigger story is, did Old Man River start to show his age, just a bit?  The answer is YES.  I’ll be very interested to see how he looks in bad weather.  Unfortunately, they may not be challenged in a bad weather game until the playoffs.  Only a week 16 meeting in Chicago has frigid potential.  They may roll until then.

4. Pittsburgh Steelers (10) – Quite a leap for the defending champs, who weren’t even on the list two weeks ago.  That’s what happens when you are as hot as anybody in the league, starting to get healthy, and knocking down one of the few remaining unbeatens.  Can they beat their second unbeaten in a row when they travel to…

5. Denver Broncos (5) – …who are coming off a bye, and hosting their toughest challenge to date.

6. New England Patriots (6) – No bump for beating the Bucs, even if they did have to travel all the way to London to do it.  Sorry, Brady.  I’m afraid I won’t be impressed until you throw six touchdowns in a quarter.

7. Cincinnati Bengals (9) – Well, welcome to the big boys club.  That was a statement game at home against a (previously) solid Bears team who needed a win.  Baltimore, and a rematch with the Steelers are on the agenda now.  Pivotal stretch.

8. Green Bay Packers (7) – They didn’t deserve a one-notch bump after doing as they should and disposing of the Browns.  But let’s face it, they should’ve won by eight touchdowns, not four.  Hell comes to breakfast this week though, with Old Man River returning to Lambeau for the first time without the green and yellow dress.  The reception should be interesting, but the game should be awfully tough for the home crowd.

9. New York Giants (not ranked) – I don’t know what I was smoking last week, dropping the Giants from the top spot in Week 6 to unranked after only one loss.  That was clearly an overreaction to the betrayal I felt after they laid down and died in the Superdome.  But with a little more time to think about it – and a tough loss to the Cardinals (?) – I remembered that I still think this is one of the best teams in football, and still expect them to play ball in February.  Mea culpa.

10. Atlanta Falcons (4) – A little premature, popping them into the top 4 last week after that win at home against the Bears.  But going into the JerryDome is nothing to sneeze at, even if Dallas hasn’t exactly played what you’d call Cowboys Football this season.  I like this team quite a bit, and I REALLY like the Falcons-Saints on Monday night; should be a wild one.

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Upon No Review: Bears-Bengals postmortem

October 26th, 2009

The past twenty-four hours have been pretty difficult for Chicago Bears fans.  It started with the team’s most lopsided defeat in six years, and continued with the overwhelming (but not unexpected) wave of overreaction to the game by fans and beat writers alike.

It is no easy task to try and say a positive word about the team after that defeat.  Quite frankly, I hate that I feel obligated to do it.  But I do, and I will, because it appears that I’m the only Bears fan whose reason and logic have not completely abandoned them.

First, a (true) cliche.  A team is never rarely as good as it looks when it is winning, and never as bad as it looks when it is losing.  A 45-10 loss to the Cincinnati Bengals (who, by the way, I picked to turn it around this year and go 9-7, thank you very much) is not an accurate indicator of the quality of this team.  That game was an aberration; an ugly, awful, cringe-inducing, soul-crushing aberration.  But it is no more and no less representative of the 2009 Chicago Bears as their 48-24 dismantling of the Lions, their exciting 25-19 comeback over the Seahawks, or their 17-14 triumph over the defending Super Bowl champions.

In fact, each of their six games has taught us something about this team.  In Green Bay, against Pittsburgh, and in Seattle, we learned that they’re capable of coming back from a deficit and taking a lead late in the game.  In Green Bay and Atlanta, we learned that despite valiant fourth-quarter surges, they can be beaten on the last drive of the game.  Against Detroit, we learned that they are fully capable of completely dominating an inferior opponent.  And against the Bengals, we learned that they’re capable of laying an egg.

This is not the same team I picked to go 11-5 before the season.  The offensive line is considerably worse than I anticipated it being.  The biggest strength of the defense – the linebackers – has suffered a remarkable number of injuries.  Brian Urlacher may no longer be the best player on the Bears’ defense, but there is no question he’s at least second-best, and still just as important to the effectiveness of the unit as anybody else on the field.  His immediate understudy, Hunter Hillenmeyer, also has missed playing time, and has been forced into multiple positions due to injuries to a third starter, Pisa Tinoisamoa.  Depth at the running back position has been greatly diminished due to injuries to Kevin Jones and Adrian Peterson.  While injuries to depth players shouldn’t matter too much, the inability of the starter at that position – Matt Forte – to play effectively only highlights the injuries.

Where Frank Omiyale was expected to be a rather significant upgrade at the left guard position, he has been a tremendous disappointment.  Where Orlando Pace was expected, if healthy, to perform at an above-serviceable level, his play has been poor.  Where Greg Olsen was expected to take a step from solid tight end to Pro-Bowl tight end, he has not.  And so on.

Despite the injuries and ineffective performances, this team has managed to win three games, including one against the defending champs.  They have had moments of brilliance.  They are not the 11-5 team I was expecting, but they are not the 5-11 team many are now fearing.

Take a deep breath, Bears fans.  Exhale slowly.  Relax.  And remember: it was one game.  Only. One. Game.  Do not throw out the baby with the bath water.

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NFL Top Ten: Week 7 Power Rankings

October 20th, 2009

1. New Orleans Saints (4) – Margins of victory for their five wins: 18, 26, 20, 14, 21.  In other words, the Saints are destroying everyone they play, including blowing my Super Bowl pick out of the water on Sunday.  And the schedule is getting more favorable, with Miami, Carolina, St. Louis and Tampa Bay coming up.  Only the Falcons in the Superdome in two weeks look like a genuine threat to this beast.

1. New Orleans Saints (4) – Margins of victory for their five wins: 18, 26, 20, 14, 21.  In other words, the Saints are destroying everyone they play, including blowing my Super Bowl pick out of the water on Sunday.  And the schedule is getting more favorable, with Miami, Carolina, St. Louis and Tampa Bay coming up.  Only the Falcons in the Superdome in two weeks look like a genuine threat to this beast.
2. Indianapolis Colts (2) – Two bye weeks in a row, with the Rams up next.  This one will be ugly early.
3. Minnesota Vikings (3) – 31 points allowed at home on Sunday.  Eventually these tight games will catch up with them, you would think.
4. Atlanta Falcons (6) – Good win over the Bears, who couldn’t overcome too many miscues in key spots.  The birds fly to Dallas and New Orleans the next two weeks, which begins a stretch of 4 road games in the next 5 weeks.  By the time they finish up with the Giants toward the end of November, we’ll have a real good idea of just how good this team is.
5. Denver Broncos (5) -
6. New England Patriots (not ranked) – 59-0 says it all.  And I think Tom Brady might just e healed up.
7. Green Bay Packers (not ranked) – Tore through the Lions, and now a really tough test: the Browns.  Yikes.  But after that, the Vikings come to town for a showdown with Old Man River.  I haven’t been sold on this team all year, and I continue not to be.  There is nothing they can do in Cleveland to change that, but in two weeks…
8. Chicago Bears (7) – They let a winnable game slip through their fingers against a good Atlanta team Sunday night.  A showdown with the upstart Bengals awaits this Sunday, and the loser is in danger of tumbling off this list.
9. Cincinnati Bengals (8) – Dropping one to the Texans isn’t great, but they could redeem themselves with a win at home against the Bears.  I still like this team, and it’s one of the few turnaround predictions of mine that isn’t turning out to be completely terrible.
10. Pittsburgh Steelers (not ranked) – Quite an accomplishment to put up 417 passing yards and only 27 points, but the Steelers pulled that off against the hideous Browns.  Trouble comes a-callin’ this week with Old Man River and the Vikings.1. New Orleans Saints (4) – Margins of victory for their five wins: 18, 26, 20, 14, 21.  In other words, the Saints are destroying everyone they play, including blowing my Super Bowl pick out of the water on Sunday.  And the schedule is getting more favorable, with Miami, Carolina, St. Louis and Tampa Bay coming up.  Only the Falcons in the Superdome in two weeks look like a genuine threat to this beast.

2. Indianapolis Colts (2) – Two bye weeks in a row, with the Rams up next.  This one will be ugly early.

3. Minnesota Vikings (3) – 31 points allowed at home on Sunday.  Eventually these tight games will catch up with them, you would think.

4. Atlanta Falcons (6) – Good win over the Bears, who couldn’t overcome too many miscues in key spots.  The birds fly to Dallas and New Orleans the next two weeks, which begins a stretch of 4 road games in the next 5 weeks.  By the time they finish up with the Giants toward the end of November, we’ll have a real good idea of just how good this team is.

5. Denver Broncos (5) – Three games into The Mid Season Schedule From Hell, and this shocking team remains undefeated.  I will never, ever, ever in my life believe that a team quarterbacked by Kyle Orton can contend for a title, but for the first six weeks of 2009, God bless the thumping Denver defense, fantastic O line, and top rate receivers and return game.

6. New England Patriots (not ranked) – 59-0 says it all.  And I think Tom Brady might just be healed up.

7. Green Bay Packers (not ranked) – Tore through the Lions, and now a really tough test: the Browns.  Yikes.  But after that, the Vikings come to town for a showdown with Old Man River.  I haven’t been sold on this team all year, and I continue not to be.  There is nothing they can do in Cleveland to change that, but in two weeks…

8. Chicago Bears (7) – They let a winnable game slip through their fingers against a good Atlanta team Sunday night.  A showdown with the upstart Bengals awaits this Sunday, and the loser is in danger of tumbling off this list.

9. Cincinnati Bengals (8) – Dropping one to the Texans isn’t great, but they could redeem themselves with a win at home against the Bears.  I still like this team, and it’s one of the few turnaround predictions of mine that isn’t turning out to be completely terrible.

10. Pittsburgh Steelers (not ranked) – Quite an accomplishment to put up 417 passing yards and only 27 points, but the Steelers pulled that off against the hideous Browns.  Trouble comes a-callin’ this week with Old Man River and the Vikings.

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Out with the old, in with the new TV season

October 13th, 2009

I’m currently in somewhat of a transitional period with the television shows I’m watching.  There are a couple of new shows that I’m really into, and a couple of old favorites that I’m letting go of.

OUT WITH THE OLD

I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to fully abandon “House“, because doing so means that I’m abandoning my favorite performer and character currently on TV.  Each season, the supporting cast of characters backing up Hugh Laurie’s brilliant title character becomes less and less interesting and palatable, and it has driven me to the brink of fandom.  I end up asking myself if I can really sit through an hour of television that contains one good character and a bunch of boring-as-hell doctors on what would otherwise be Just Another Hospital Drama.

In fairness, the Cuddy and Wilson characters (played by Lisa Edelstein and Robert Sean Leonard) have their moments of greatness.  But as the years wear on, we see the same tired, recycled storylines for them; both characters are stuck in 2005.  I cringe when Omar Epps appears on screen nowadays, because his Foreman is criminally boring.  Olivia Wilde is wild(e)ly attractive, but has been saddled by the writers with so many “issues” that the audience can hardly keep up with how bizarre she is. Worse yet, we don’t even care, because despite the attempt at spice, the character remains painfully disposable.

I hate the idea of missing a classic Hugh Laurie rant. I truly believe this is one of the best characters in television history. But the rest of the show is so profoundly weak that I can hardly rationalize suffering through what amounts to a bad TV show with one spectacular character.

-

The other show I’m just about done with is “How I Met Your Mother“.  This one’s a little easier to rationalize dropping from my line-up when I consider how hot it burned when it was really good a few seasons ago, and the unfortunate direction it has gone since.

Where the writers would, in the first couple of seasons, focus on the humor and hijinks that made the show great, there has been a palpable shift toward standard, coma-inducing romantic comedy territory.  For as funny and talented as Jason Segel and Neil Patrick Harris are, they can’t overcome the lazy, clichéd pap written for them over the past year or so, and neither can I.

That’s the problem half hour comedies must overcome with me; they’re fairly disposable.  Have a bad couple of weeks, and I’m just about done.  But with this show, it’s more than a bad couple of weeks.  I’ve been dissatisfied for an entire season now, and unfortunately for them, there are plenty of options.

IN WITH THE NEW

Two new half hour comedies have caught my eye so far this year.  The first is NBC’s “Community“, a wacky show about a bunch of community college misfits who were scammed into joining a study group in the pilot, and haven’t quite figured out that they’re getting no studying done.

This show stars Joel McHale, of E!’s “The Soup“.  The man’s delivery is hilarious, and worth the price of admission alone.  Chevy Chase supports with a hilarious know-it-all executive-turned-student character who serves to add his brand of racist comments and worldly wisdom, which his peers wisely disregard.

The style of this show is a blatant knockoff of “30 Rock“.  But if you’re going to rip off another comedy, why not rip off the funniest show on TV?  The formula works; quick-witted, sarcastic, jerky character who you shouldn’t like yet can’t help but love, and a lovable-but-kinda-clueless girl who is the foil in the wake of all of his shenanigans.  Alec Baldwin’s Jack Donaghy on “30 Rock” serves as the template for McHale’s Jeff Winger, and Jillian Jacobs plays the Tina Fey-like foil.

I have my doubts about the shelf life of this show, but while it’s fresh, I’m going to sit back and enjoy.  McHale is truly hilarious, and the supporting cast is not far behind.

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The other comedy I’m enjoying thus far is ABC’s mockumentary-style “Modern Family“.  A very strong ensemble cast fleshes out well-written, only-mildly-exaggerated members of three branches of an extended family.  Ed O’Neil plays the patriarch, and exactly the kind of old man you would’ve expected a non-slapstick version of Al Bundy to become.  Grouchy, somewhat homophobic (which provides ongoing conflict with his gay son) grandpa whose trophy wife – the painfully gorgeous Sofia Vergara – is a good twenty years younger and a little too much for the old boy to handle.

As with all mockumentary shows like “The Office“, the comedy is in the awkward encounters.  Disconnects between gender, generation, culture and sexuality within the family provide the meat and potatoes of the comedy in this show.  These aren’t new themes, of course, but the cast is so damned funny that any sense of familiarity is quickly diffused by the terrific execution the actors provide.  This show is the “home life” counterpart to “The Office”, and could very well reap similar success.

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NFL Top Ten: Week 6 Power Rankings

October 12th, 2009

Here are my weekly power rankings, with the team’s previous rank in parenthesis.

1. New York Giants (1) – Another week, another blowout by the Giants. Eli Manning’s foot bears watching, but so long as he can stay on the field, the Giants can – and likely will – stay atop the rankings.

2. Indianapolis Colts (2) – Not only did they go to Nashville and put the final nail in the Titans’ coffin, but they did so in disturbingly dominant fashion.  Peyton Manning is on one of his out-of-control binges right now, which should almost be expected from the best quarterback ever to lace them up.  Expected or not, it’s still amazing to watch.

3. Minnesota Vikings (6) – What’s remarkable about the Rams game is that the vaunted Vikings defense actually gave up 400 yards of offense to the worst team in football.  But the four turnovers kept the lead a healthy four touchdowns.  And it wasn’t even that close.

4. New Orleans Saints (3) – Biggest game of the year coming off the bye for the Saints:  hosting the Giants in what could be one of the best games of the season.

5. Denver Broncos (10) – Fluke plays, crazy catches, etc. etc.  That was a big-time win against the Patriots, and a big-time performance by Kyle Orton.  I have no choice but to call them legitimate at this point, even as every instinct I have tells me that this is a .500 team that has caught a bunch of breaks and is playing good enough defense to capitalize on those breaks.  While Kyle Orton may remind the loony Peter King of 2001 Tom Brady, the Broncos remind me of the 2001 Chicago Bears; a fluky, lucky team with a pretty damn good defense who will have no impact on the playoffs other than providing some better team a first round opponent.

6. Atlanta Falcons (not ranked) – Was that slaughter of the 49ers out west evidence of the Falcons’ prowess, or are the 9ers a bit worse than we thought?  I’m inclined to believe the former, and look forward to what is going to be a huge match-up with the Bears on Sunday night in Hotlanta.

7. Chicago Bears (8) – A one-rank bump on the bye week primarily because Baltimore and New England keep messing around instead of being the top-tier teams I expected them to be.

8. Cincinnati Bengals (not ranked) – All righty, I’m fully aboard the Bengal Bandwagon.  Cedric Benson has decided that he’s interested in playing football (thanks, Ced.  Appreciate it.) and Carson Palmer is back to being Carson Palmer.  Wins over Baltimore and Pittsburgh mean something.  3-0 in their division means that until the Steelers get it together and the Ravens right the ship, the Bengals may well be the team to beat in a nasty AFC North.

9. Baltimore Ravens (4) – Two tough tests in New England and versus Cincinnati, two losses.  This weekend will be the toughest test to date in the Metrodome.  In fairness, they kept it dangerously close in both of their losses, and I still think this is one of the best couple of teams in the AFC, but if they can’t keep it close (or pull the upset) against Old Man Winter, they risk dropping off the map here, at least for a little while.

10. Philadelphia Eagles (not ranked) – Every week I display a complete lack of faith in this team, and every week they come out and punch somebody in the mouth.  Last week’s hapless victim was the woeful Buccaneers.  This week’s is the Raiders.  And I don’t care that it’s in Oakland; doesn’t matter.  This could be a three score game in no time whatsoever.

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